04 - Thea Parikos

22 minutes reading

Today my Lemon Verbena plant arrived. I will enjoy the leaves in my evening tea for a better, calmer sleep. Which I have been seriously lacking for at least the past year. I am happy if I can sleep 5 hours in a row. My mind just won’t stop spinning. I have tons of thoughts in my head, never resting. Melatonin won’t help and Tylenol PM is not something you want to pop on a daily basis. I had been trying to find a good long-term solution for some time when I got the advice to have a Lemon Verbena tea before going to bed.

And I know that if the person who advised Lemon Verbena as the solution says it will work, then it will work. This woman knows all about healthy lifestyle. She runs her own healthy, island-specific restaurant in the middle of the Aegean Sea, on one of the five Blue Zone locations of the world, the Greek island of Ikaria. If there is anyone who knows all about these vital greenleaves, it is she, in whose culture herbs play an essential role and who uses her own herb and vegetable garden for making heavenly longevity dishes for her inn, her business of decades.

For those who are not familiar, Dan Buettner was the man who researched areas in the world where people tend to live the longest. He identified what we call the Blue Zones today: locations of longevity. He studied the lives of people, their routines, and found nine common denominators that contribute to local longevity in all five Blue Zone hotspots. He lets us peek into the lives of Blue Zoners in his show on Netflix, Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones - the exact show where I caught sight of this Greek lady, his guide.

As an advocate of clean, lean eating and a healthy, balanced lifestyle, I was more than excited to connect with my Blue Zone Lady today. Attagirl! in April is Thea Parikos, the owner of Thea’s Inn on the Greek Blue Zone spot, the island of Ikaria. Despite some island-specific technical difficulties that tried to sabotage our interview multiple times, we had a very exciting discussion about her life philosophy, the decisions she made and the dreams she followed to arrive where she is today. An amazing, event-rich life that is authentically hers, with people around that she loves, family and friends; great food and wine, and the endless sea surrounding it all with its blueness and softly splashing, white frothy waves. Our discussion is presented here for you.

Created with love – read with delight.

So, what is your journey, Thea? How did it start?
I was born in the U.S., in Michigan….

I was not aware of that!
Yes, I was. My grandparents settled down in Michigan, in a large Ikarian community, with lots and lots of cousins, and that is where my parents were born. I am second generation Greek in America, that is where I grew up. I started visiting Greece after the age of seven. We would go to Ikaria in Greece, where the roots of my family were. And I loved going there. And I hated coming back to the States.

Especially because I always felt awkward in the U.S. I never felt that I belonged. When I compared myself to my schoolmates, I always thought I was differently wired, a UFO. It gave me much anxiety in my school years. I simply did not have the American mentality.

What happened then?
The end of high school came and I still did not know what I wanted to study. All my cousins went on for higher education and here I was, not fitting in, not knowing what I wanted to do, the only one in the family not continuing studying – so I flew to Ikaria. And this time I spent a full year there.

What did you do there for a year?
Not much, to be honest. I did not have a job, one of my friends ran a private school and I helped out at it. When I ran out of money, I went back to the States. My parents were classic Greeks in the States. Like the ones in the Big Fat Greek Wedding, the movie. They were strict. They were like yeah, go, travel to Greece but come back here eventually. They were honestly concerned about what I wanted to do. And I still was kind of experimenting. In the U.S. I worked as a waitress and once I had the money, I went back to Ikaria, helping out in that private school again. That’s how my life went until I turned 23, when in Ikaria I met my now-husband.

Oh, nice! What’s the story, do you mind sharing?
Not at all! There was this large congregate in the summertime where I was having drinks with a group of people and he was there too. Eventually he offered to give me a ride home. That’s how it all began. We spent the summer together while he was working on a marine cargo vessel, planning to obtain his captain’s license – and then I ran out of money again. I told him I needed to go back to the States, and until the spring I waited tables again.

And with that things started to speed up. My parents wanted to meet him.

And you don’t say no to the parents of a Greek girl when it comes to meeting her sweetheart.

And I started panicking because the most reasonable way for him to come to the States was a fiancé visa but our relationship was honestly not there yet. So… we decided we would get married and then we would see what happens. (And he is still my husband so we can safely say that we were not wrong to go with that fiancé visa…)

To speed up history a little bit, in October he entered the States, in November we had our not-so-big fat Greek wedding hosting around only 200 people (if it had been held on Ikaria, it would’ve been double the guests as all his relatives lived there and only a few could come to Michigan) and in December, as newlyweds, we left the U.S. for Ikaria. I was 24 then.

After him joining the army, and us having our first son, a trip followed to the U.S. and the first real conscious, thoroughly considered decision of ours was made: we would settle down in Ikaria. The Greek island would be a perfect location for children to grow up, and that was the most important factor for us. And we were the crazy ones to come up with that decision.

Crazy is good, I like crazy! In my vocabulary it is a synonym of authentic and courageous. And I think that decision was a really authentic and courageous one. So, what next, back in Ikaria?
Back in Greece we were still testing the waves, trying to figure out what we could do for a living, dipped toes in this and that. It took us a few years to see a somewhat clear image of our future. And it was the image of a family-operated eatery. We decided to name it Thea: in in Greek it can mean goddess or view and is also a female name (my full name means Gift of God). The restaurant opened in 1997. A few years shy of thirty years ago.

I bet it is your pride. What is there to know about Thea, the restaurant?
Well, today we call it Thea’s Inn. And we have rooms for rent, too. Today I only rarely do the cooking myself, I have help. I mostly host guests; I enjoy talking to people. The restaurant offers fully Ikarian meals with a lot of vegetables, fresh meat, fish, and fruits. The menu is built on natural ingredients, completely following the change of the seasons. It changes based on what produce is available. We strive to use local produce and meat. We add our freshly grown herbs to our meals, lots of herbs. They thrive here on the island. Olive oil is another must, and, of course, it is locally grown and produced too. Honey here in Ikaria is highly valued, pesticide-free and we complete syrups, yogurt, and tea with it. Very special. Also special is our local wine.

Sounds like heaven for someone like me who loves clean, healthy meals. Who are your guests?
Our visitors mostly come from Europe, and more and more from America in the past years. People seem to look for quiet places, off the beaten tracks. We have frequenters who stay here for months in the summer, always coming to our restaurant, while others are regulars in other places. There are five restaurants in the village, but it is completion, not competition, the way we coexist. Tourism here provides enough for everyone. There are no ethnic restaurants, all of us operate with locally available ingredients and make Greek meals, but we differ in the meals or even the preparation of the same meal.

What was the reason for you to start a restaurant and not something else?
You know, when my husband and I started to brainstorm about our future in Ikaria, in 1992, it wasn’t an easy place to live. True, we had our property through his family, but in all honesty, there was not much on the island back then. There was some tourism already, Ikaria was liked mostly for the outdoors: by swimmers, hikers, because the scenery was truly perfect here – but not much else. There were two or three restaurants only,; earth roads, unreliable electricity, and no need to say, not many jobs available either. So we could choose from building a home on the property and commuting to work on a daily basis or starting a business on the property based on tourism. And we went for the second one. We decided to establish a restaurant and offer accommodation for visitors as our future income. Again, we were the crazy ones, but oh well.

Again, another authentic and courageous decision. And you already had some experience having served tables in the States back in the day, right?
Well, yes and no. Yes, because I did spend some time close to the fire of hospitality business for years. And no, because running a restaurant in the States is very different from running one in Greece. In America business dictates owners to make sure tables turn as soon as possible. Meals are served and plates are picked up, table is changed fast for new guests. That would be an insult to guests in Greece. When we eat socially, we like to take our time, we do not like to be rushed. We order multiple meals, our tables are full of food and wine, and eat slowly while having fun, enjoying company and just relaxing. Oftentimes a group like that spends three hours in a restaurant, without being in a hurry. Now imagine that in an American restaurant… We run our inn on our island Greek style.

Your life must definitely be busy during the tourist season.
Yes, starting in spring it gets really crazy. That is when I begin getting anxious. On the island it is impossible to do any repair work in the winter, so much rain and wind, and it is hard to find skilled workers in that season too. So whatever needs to be done for the new season basically starts being done around April. Which means April brings the usual worry if everything will be done in time. This anxiety ends in the beginning of the season, then the focus is on the guests. That is a nice period but also a really active and busy one. After guest season things calm down, we get ready for the winter, and then the cycle starts over.

So, what is your way to wind down, what is it that you like doing when you can afford some time for yourself?
I love reading. I also love the nights when I sit down with a view on the sea and the stars, sipping my husband’s wine – red, rosé, white, does not really matter. All of his wines are wonderful. Another great method for me to chill is meeting my friends. Changing the environment is essential for a balanced lifestyle in my opinion. Every time we meet, we try to go to a different village, a different bar or restaurant, or even to someone’s home who has food and drinks. 8-9 women, or even if just two, we always find a way to meet.

Yet planning is funny here; plans are extremely flexible. Unless it is a doctor’s appointment or a plane to catch, we are very generous and casual about time. In Ikaria time is definitely not the boss! We have a saying here: if we cannot fully finish what we plan, no problem, “that is why God gave us tomorrow.” Coming from the States, I really had to learn to adapt that principle in my life, but I think I am pretty good today. An example: when we decide to meet at, say, 8, it is safe to say we are still getting ready at 8:30, so we normally make it by 9. Ish. This is just how we are; nobody stresses out about being late for a friendly event.

I remember that lady from the Netflix show who did not have a watch and estimated time by looking at the sun, while getting ready for a party roasting fish on an outdoor fireplace!
Yes, that is pretty much us, Ikarian people!

It sounds like getting ready for the season is a stressful period for you. What else gives you anxiety, if anything?
Oh, yeah, I do have a few more. The most important one is if everything will be right by spring reservations. I hate mistakes, that is a big fear for me, making mistakes. Every year we make small improvements, change the menu a little bit, and everything has to be fine by the deadline. These are my basic stresses. In Ikaria however, you need to live for the moment. Other than the business-related perfectionism-induced fears the basic rule here is that if you can’t do something about it, leave it.

When you are having these emotions, fear or anxiety, what is the best way for you to release this kind of stress? What works the best for you?
A good swim in the sea always cools me down. Wine releases stress. Wine is always good. And another way that does wonders for me is just “being away.” Again, a change of scenery. I just walk to my husband’s farm – he is responsible for the vegetable and herb garden and the animals. I sit down, enjoying the quiet, some wine, the smells, the intoxicating ambience. Beautiful and highly relaxing. I can hear my thoughts which eventually fall in place from the jumble that makes me visit the farm in the first place. If you let your thoughts just be for 30-45 minutes, the answers you are seeking will come. Perfect.

That sounds so nice. I bet the whole point is not the specific scenery of the sea and the farm, but that we need to find our own recharging place where we can stop, rest, and let the answers come.
Everybody has some kind of stress, you cannot escape those. Problems won’t just go away. What you can do though is just stop. Wherever in the world you are. You will see it is worth it.

You know, I might have said it to every single Attagirl! so far but I do enjoy talking to you, Thea. Very relaxing and, you know, also promising. You are sharing such simple ways to cope with stress, we all can walk somewhere nice, or sit down in a public garden, enjoy plants, a good wine, some of us even the sea. These don’t sound like super magic tricks that couldn’t be done by everyone.
They don’t, indeed. The point is that we need to find a way to feel ourselves, what we need, and the answers come when we can stop and be quiet for a little while. That is my condensed version of the best practices or tricks that serve me well and I can whole-heartedly encourage everyone to give it a try. My life wisdom.

Now tell me about what makes you happy.
Happiness for me is definitely not about buying stuff. I am grateful for everything that I have. And I am optimistic about every day. I am happy that my kids are healthy, that I have a great family, that I am surrounded by great friends. Nothing is about money. I am happy for the quality things; those are what matter.

Totally agreeing here! So, a great family, great friendships, gatherings, super healthy, natural, seasonal food, good wine, lots of physical activity like walking, swimming, even gardening – these are the recipe for your fulfilled and happy life?
Those are truly a must. I’d also add our religion, which is a strong part of the culture here. We are orthodox Greek, and it is not only a religion but a means for social gatherings too. Yes, we go to church on Sundays, but we also meet for social services, like memorial services. Everyone knows everyone here, so we attend funerals together, there are a lot of holidays that we prepare for or spend together. These are very important for us. In general, we care so much about one another in the Ikaria community. The awareness that we can rely on each other and the times we share together I think is just as important as having healthy meals or a fulfilling occupation. Belonging means a lot to us.

Also, again, the relaxed way we exist here. Not being afraid of time. We put down tasks at the end of a busy day but we don’t have the kind of stress about unfinished to-dos like in other places of the world. We do not stress out about deadlines. Time here is not a source of pressure. Like I said, that is why God gave us tomorrow…

I can imagine living on an island can change a lot about the way we think in general. What are the pros and cons of living in Ikaria?
Let’s start with the cons, I feel that list is much shorter. Availability of services are naturally limited here. We have basic healthcare in Ikaria, but significant services are only available on the mainland. For example, cancer treatments or even childbirth require us to either use a ship, which takes seven hours, or a plane, which is a 45-minute-trip to get to Athens. Emergencies are not easy here for sure.

Education is a similar situation. Elementary and high schools are present in Ikaria but going for higher education means that kids have to travel to Athens, or abroad.

And restaurants on the island are closed in the winter. Not an essential factor but for us, people who like to gather, it is not ideal.

On the bright side though the island of Ikaria is a fantastic place to raise children. Safe communities for families with a non-existent crime rate. In today’s world that is very rare. Kids can play outside without being afraid, or us, parents being afraid to allow them to play outside. The air is clean, nature is within arm’s reach. Kids can grow up becoming familiar with and understanding the ways of Mother nature; learning about plants and animals, as well as traditional farming activities. There is a great dynamic of people here, so they get a very nice example of how to interact with and care for one another. To me all of that was a highly important factor when we decided to start our family in Ikaria instead of the States. We wanted our children to be part of this community, and today it feels like it was a great decision.

Every place to live probably has advantages and disadvantages, and Ikaria is no exception. I appreciate all that my life has taught me, that I could see the contrast between city and island life. I am happy I was crazy enough back then to follow my heart that drove me back to my roots. And I am even happier that I could share all that with my children. This life humbles everyone as it is not easy by any stretch, and it also gives you a clear vision to focus on the really important stuff. Like shifting emphasis from financial success onto valuing what we have and supporting one another as a community. I feel privileged for my life experience and that is what I wish for everyone: to be brave enough to follow their hearts. It can be hard but never wrong.

Thank you for the beautiful closing words, Thea. You are truly beautiful. I wish you so many more happy years in your dream life, in your dream environment.
I thank you, Kami, it was such a great opportunity to share all this with you and the readers.

If you want to find out more about Thea, please click on the links below.

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Dan Buettner - Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones