07 - Ricki Oldenkamp

40 minutes reading

When I decided to start a business in the United States, I figured that any the writing coming from me and being available in any part of the Universe (which is a lot, apparently) would need to be in proper English, as much as possible. Being a non-native speaker, I figured, no matter how much grammar I have learned or how much time I have spent on mastering the living language, I would never become as perfect as one born here. So, the decision was made: I would need to work with a copyeditor.

Yeah, but how to find one, a good one… someone I would click with, who would understand the concept, my fussiness of wanting to keep my own identity, and style that is a little weird on occasion? I don’t know anyone in the U.S., let alone a bunch of copyeditors. I decided to reach out to a renown writer and ask him – and I did so. I sent an email to Jeff Goins who is not only a writer but also teaches writing. He passed me on to someone, who passed me on to someone, and I finally ended up to be in contact with this girl, a millennial, living in Alaska.

Hmmm, Alaska! A place on my bucket list. It’s where I wanted to move in 2013 while being so fed up with my life in my job at this imaging solutions company, a position I just got assigned for, I never applied for and I would have never taken rationally either, had I not been afraid of losing my income as a single mother. So, I thought, whoever chooses to live in Alaska as a young person must be a cool one. And what did I know…

We started to discuss some details and I felt this girl was very structured and organized. Something that I crave. Conscious and confident, radiating strength and wisdom. In a really short time I felt myself in good hands. We had a few video discussions and I totally liked what I saw and heard. So, I said, let’s do this. She’s been helping me with my content since the beginning and takes any English-related worry off of my shoulders, which is a relief.

She keeps me on my toes, true, and fiercely protects her own boundaries. By nudging me to push my writings along a little when she sees I am behind, so that she can keep her own schedule of life. Which I kind of like, even if it feels uncomfortable on my end sometimes, wanting to just mope around instead of working. Or, by not sharing her phone number with me, which at first I thought was crazy and unacceptable. As that is something I had never seen in Hungary. It may be a generation-thing, though, I am not sure, but I could not imagine having a contractor that I could not reach any time of any day in case of an emergency. She has proven herself though and is literally available any time of any day via e-mail, a super-fast responder. So by now I have made peace with not having her number, and I even like and respect her approach. And ever since I found out who she was, how she became a copywriter/copyeditor, her work ethics, and the determination in setting boundaries in a way I have never seen, I have known she is an Attagirl!-must. Read the interview with her and find out why. Attagirl! is proud to present Ricki Oldenkamp in the month of July.

Created with love – read with delight.

Hello, hello, Ricki, how exciting that this conversation will be so different from any of our previous ones! I am so happy to welcome you in the line of Attagirls!
Hello Kami, yeah, I am so excited, I have seen all the Attagirls’ interviews from the inside and now I am in their shoes, which is fun!

[In the period prior to the interview Ricki was getting ready for a solo trip throughout Alaska living in her Subaru. She has recorded and presented the preparation on her YouTube channel, Feral Girl Freedom (link under the interview), a highly informative and honest, transparent, at the same time funny and sweet documentary material. I was surprised to find out that the interview itself was happening during the actual trip already. She explained that the delay between the videos coming out and where she actually was on the road was for safety reasons, which is just another proof of her being conscious of knowing exactly what she is doing.]

Ready for the Subaru-trip throughout Alaska

Let’s talk about your young life first. How did you grow up, what defined you as a kid?
I was a very sensitive and curious child, I grew up in a pretty rural area and that meant there wasn't a lot to do. So I read a lot of books and played outside. And that was definitely where my fascination and love of nature began.

What did you read?
When I was really young, I became obsessed with The Boxcar Children books, which is a series about orphan children living in a boxcar in the woods and all the different adventures they had. But also, just the idea of them having to do the daily chores of taking care of their boxcar home. So, my younger brother and I would often play that in the little woods we had next to our house; we would bring out plates and suitcases and pretend that we were living in the woods. We spent a lot of time outside and entertaining ourselves.

You mention a lot of time on your own, what do you mean?
My parents owned a construction business together and were constantly busy working. My dad would run the jobs and my mom did the bookkeeping from home, but she was always busy so we basically needed to be out of her hair. But it was also an escape.

Escape?
Yes, because having parents running a business together… it was very stressful for them, I remember money being a big stress in the household. From my memory it feels like that was a major factor in their divorce which, yes, followed. I was in middle school when they divorced. The business was successful, but when you run your own business and you don't have any set ceiling, you feel you need more and can always do more, can always earn more, it just never ends. I was so young that I don't know the particulars, but they never felt like they could stop working. They never felt like it was enough.

How did your young life shape after the divorce?
While all of that was happening, my younger brother and I needed to kind of take care of ourselves even more. My older brother and sister were 11 years and 9 years older than me and by then they were already off on their own life journeys. My younger brother and I stayed living with my mom and we moved to a house that was closer to the school. That way we could walk to and from school and sports and were just a bit more responsible for ourselves.

I was into pushing myself with sports, but I was still very much into reading. I really loved books that dealt with real people's adventures. I adored Jane Goodall’s books because she was very unique for her time, to be living in the jungle studying chimpanzees and doing things that people didn't really believe women could do (or should do) at that time. I thought it was amazing that she stepped out of society's expectations and had this completely different life. I was fascinated with the idea that she charted her own path. I read her books and I thought, okay, I don’t see myself living in this small town in Michigan forever. I kind of already could project myself out into the future and see what my life was going to look like, same ole small town drama, married and likely having a family at a young age. Honestly, it made me distressed. I didn't feel like there was any adventure there. No surprises. I didn't have the draw to have a baby. I didn’t want to know what the next 60+ years of my life already looked like.

What happened after you recognized those feelings?
I was very fortunate to meet my older brother’s girlfriend, who originated from the same smalltown but ended up in Alaska. My brother brought her back home and she opened a bookstore that I worked at in high school. I truly believe she opened up a new future to me. She was able to expose me to all these other books of women adventuring all over the world. [She still helps people find ways to live bravely with her podcast, In Kinship, link under the interview.]

The first book that I remember getting from her was called Tales of a Female Nomad, by Rita Golden Gelman. The author had this draw to travel the world in a time where it was unusual for a woman to be in her 30s and 40s, unmarried, traveling alone to some of the remote cultures she lived in. I thought it was absolutely fascinating that she would have the guts to do that.

Another book that was actually pretty influential (and this is one that so many people will know) is of course Eat Pray Love. I enjoyed Elizabeth Gilbert because she was so openly honest in the book about how she was a mess. She wasn't confident. She was dealing with all of these anxieties about her life and trying to grow and I thought it was really refreshing to have someone tell a story in the moment of all that messiness without just the nice buttoned up version at the end that makes it look like they had everything together the whole time… because I certainly didn't have it all together. I've dealt with a lot of anxiety, doubt, and self-criticism in my life.

Tell me a little more about it.
Well, to summarize it briefly, I had an unpredictable childhood. My parents didn't know how to comfort a highly sensitive child. The lack of consistency in my life made it difficult for me to feel I could count on things; it made me feel like I wasn't safe. I felt I needed to be on guard all the time to look out for myself, since I didn't feel like anyone else knew how to look out for me. It made me less able to connect with others as I didn't want to feel uncomfortable and unsafe in their hands. I threw myself into solo projects, sports that could be more solo (track and cross country), and I indulged in fantasies of the freedom to create my own life, one where I could live on my terms.

I have had a hard time reconciling my sensitive nature and my desire to grow, experience, and achieve. Both are in me, and the latter forces me to have to step out of my comfort zone and find ways to deal with my anxieties. To do that I have learned coping mechanisms. I often have to take time alone to recharge and not feel like I need to react right away. And to not feel like I need to be "on" in front of people all the time. That space allows me to tease out what might be causing anxiety (fear of not knowing how an experience will play out, fear of looking silly in front of others, fear of failing). It allows me to give myself pep talks about how fear will not keep me safe, it will only make me feel unfulfilled when I don't get to have the experiences that I desire. I do a lot of talking myself through things. Change is hard for me, but I love the aliveness I feel in new experiences. It is difficult every single time, but I keep putting myself in the way of doing the hard thing, and my life is so much better for it.

I still deal with the anxiety with all of the big adventures that I plan. I always have those moments that come up where I start to feel overwhelmed and question if I even want to go through with it. But I push through.

I might always have anxiety that tells me why I shouldn't trust, or shouldn't take risks. But I now have a wealth of experiences that show me the wonderful outcomes when I do trust and take risks. Now I conjure up those "wins" and I also remember that while things do go wrong (and they have spectacularly, and sometimes a lot) I still have made it out of every one of those experiences more knowledgeable and ready to do better the next time. And as I’ve gone through those major anxiety-filled emotions, time and time again with each adventure, I’ve started to recognize that it's just a cycle that happens. I like sharing those stories with others that have some of the same fears, now I talk openly about it because it takes a bit of the sting out of anxiety when you see someone else "failed" but made it out and didn't quit, but instead just moved on to the next adventure. Which has led me to create a YouTube channel to share the ups and downs of a new project, this trip throughout Alaska. My desire is to test out a more nomadic style of living, while trying to live and work out of my Subaru.

Crazy lady!
Haha… yeah, to some it is crazy to leave the comforts of a house to travel long-term in a vehicle, but there are so many places in Alaska I haven’t seen yet and I have been living here for a couple years. Now I am planning on leaving, but before I do so, I really want to see more of this beautiful place. And this trip is a dedication to my older brother who passed unexpectedly at the end of 2022. I realized that if I only had 10 years left (if I were to pass at the same age he did) then there is so much I yet want to see, do, and be!

Anxiety and conscious self-discipline to balance it. What else was there in the early years that you think might have determined who you are today?
There’s this one, and I really don't know what the catalyst for it was. But I remember being very young and having a fear of going to sleep at night because I wasn't sure I would wake up the next day. Just this recognition that if there was something I wanted to do in life, I better get on with doing it, because we don't know how long we have; so that has been a factor throughout my life that's pushed me. Even when I've been afraid of some of the things that I've wanted to do, even when anxieties come up, I recognize that I don't have forever to do those things. So, I better kind of get over it and get on with it.

What are those things? Do you have a bucket list?
That's a great question because I don't actually have a fully formed list. I don't have a list that I'm trying to tick off.  Opportunities always show up for me at the right time, I get really excited about them, I get obsessive, and I go all in on them.

One day you will have to write your own book of adventures, like the ones you enjoyed reading as a child!
I think someday I will write a book. I do have a lot of stories. I'm just not quite there yet. There are more adventures that need to make it into that book. I feel I have some of my greatest adventures in front of me.

Amen! I personally can’t wait for it to come out. But let’s get back to the young girl indulging in adventure books of real-life women. What came next?
One of the most important aspects that gave me the route that I have gone down is the fact that I was very afraid of debt. To me debt meant that you didn't have choices and it could force you to work in jobs and to be stuck places you didn't want to be. When I started looking at college, I knew I didn't want to go into a massive amount of student loan debt. So, I opted to join the military to pay for college.

Military!
Yes, I was only 17 as a senior, so I had to convince my parents to sign for me because before you're 18, you're not allowed to join on your own. And they did. I didn't apply to any colleges because of joining the Army, but I had made them confirm that I could leave for boot camp at the end of the summer, when my friends were going off to college. After all the paperwork and testing they said my bootcamp leaving date was in June… one day after my 18th birthday. They misled me, and I started to think that if they lied about that, what else where they going to pull. It was very frustrating, but I took matters into my own hands and after a lot of research I found out that if I didn’t step on the bus to boot camp, which would’ve been the official commitment to them on my side, then I wasn’t obligated to go. So, no Army for me.

Oh boy. You must have been disappointed.
Very. It felt bad. I had trouble pushing against that authority. I never wanted to get in trouble. I always wanted to be a good girl, to make people happy but now I really had to stand up for myself for the first time and tell them, “You lied to me and I'm not doing this.”

Without any better option I started working in a high-end restaurant in the closest big city and I was making a lot of money. But I was 18, working with people that were in their 30s, and I again saw what my future would be if I stayed in that job. It was like Groundhog's Day; they would make a bunch of money, spend it out at the bar, repeat.

So, I started going to Community College, because that's one you can apply to anytime. When I was close to graduating with an Associate degree, I needed to figure out what I wanted to do. I was pursuing English because I always really loved books, obviously, and literature and writing. But for the degree I needed a science class. In high school I was told by my math teacher that I was terrible at math so I believed that I wouldn’t be able to do science (those more analytical subjects). I took the easiest one available, a 10-day-all-day, on-site summer course. It was literally living at a research site catching frogs in ponds and forests and I was like wait, what, this is a job!? I was hearkening back to my Jane Goodall-dreams like that. I could do science like Jane did! And a whole new phase of my life unfolded.

I utilized my writing skills on my report for that class and the professor was blown away that I wrote up the research like a real journal article. He insisted that I pursue biology. It progressed quickly with my first grant as a community college student studying ferns and mutualistic relationships with ants in South America. My dreams of adventure and travel were materializing in an exciting, unpredicted way!

My next research was through Duke University on lemurs. It started with a simple e-mail to a renowned scientist at Duke (thank goodness I didn’t realize it was a bold thing to “cold call” a famous professor as an undergrad). And he replied through one of his students! The lemur cognition project went so well that I was introduced to an opportunity for a research position through the University of Switzerland on orangutan mother-infant pairs. I was able to fly to Borneo and work with the primates for four months while still an undergraduate student. I actually got my Jane Goodall-moment.

Ricki, this experience is so cool, congratulations! Okay, go on. I'm so amazed at your choices – and it started with a little email from an undergrad to a renowned professor…
Yeah, that's the thing. I learned a lot just through these small experiences – where all you have to do is ask for something. Ask the people who can help you, ask the Universe. Really, it's not crazy to ask, because the worst is you hear a no. But at least you tried. People have such a hard time asking for what they want. I try to encourage others to first dare to want something big, something you dream of, and then… ask. Look at my example. Was it worth it? Absolutely.

When you have that hunger for experience, you just won’t leave any stone unturned, especially not because of fear. I think a lot of people have fear of looking silly or fear of ever asking. And that's the thing, if you can transcend that fear, just see it for what it is – a measure of how much you want it and are scared you won’t get it – and decide to keep taking steps. Even if they are baby steps. So many magical opportunities can open.

Now that I know this it makes it so much easier for me. I mean, I wish I had known this when I was even younger. I sometimes talk to people who say they wish they could do what I do. I always say, “You can.” They are like, “What is my family going to think?” Or “I could never figure it out.” I can get on a soapbox about this: Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses, stop trying to live to make other people happy. We would all be so much happier if everyone was really only minding their own business. Talking openly about our desires with others who want to keep us just like them can be hard. I get it, they don’t want to lose us. But if your heart wants something, I think it’s important to use our limited time here to at least try for it, otherwise you’ll always wonder. I think being exposed to all the Attagirl!s hopefully gives people the permission to dream enough to transcend that fear.

Amen, again! What’s next?
In all sincerity, coming back from working in the jungle I really started to doubt I wanted to have a Jane Goodall-future, because working in the jungle for four months at a research site hours by car and then hours by boat out in the jungle, no phone or internet, so no contact to any friends or family, was very hard. It was a very lonely experience. I decided I didn't want to do that regularly for the rest of my career. While I am glad that I did it, that stone was not left unturned, I knew that I no longer wanted to do that forever. I had just turned 24 and it made me start thinking about what else I would want to do.

And, what else?
I still wanted to do some kind of research and planned to switch to natural resources management in the States, so that way I wasn't traveling half the year to some other part of the world for work. I realized that I could actually just travel for pleasure. I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to do yet when the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage in Spain came across my path. Immediately I knew I had to go. Thus, I jetted off to Spain by myself for two months and I hiked the most popular Camino route, the Camino Frances.

The Camino was one of the most magical experiences I've ever had, because I had quite a few issues come up on the trip where I had to rely on complete strangers, which was initially a nightmare for someone with anxiety. But I was so taken care of by these strangers in many different ways. It just cracked my heart open. It made me feel really supported. Having the experience of people who didn't know me at all yet care about me that much, going out of their way to help me even when they had to help me in another language, it was really amazing. More proof that once you put yourself in the way of an adventure and push back against fear, you can gain unimaginable experiences.

True!
There’s this song that I really like. It’s by a band from Michigan called The Crane Wives, it has a line that says your fears will not keep you safe. And it's very true. There's a lot of other things you can do to keep yourself safe. But ruminating on fears doesn't do it. And I love that reminder.

So, Camino – check. I assume the story has not ended…
I was offered a research assistantship for my masters at the University of Georgia. It was a pretty big move, definitely a culture shock for me… people thought I was Canadian based on my accent… but it was an interesting experience. One of the hardest things I've ever done. And when I finished my massive thesis, I was done with the South and I decided to drive up to Alaska to see my younger brother, who had been living here for five years at that point. I hadn't been up to Alaska to visit yet and I had applied for some jobs in the Pacific Northwest and up in Alaska, too. I figured I should probably see these places in case I was offered one of the jobs, so I could know if I'd even want to move there.

I ended up taking an interview call on the side of the road in Montana. It was working with the Forest Service as a ranger on one of the most popular sport salmon fisheries in the world. I was supposed to patrol the rivers, talk to the fisherman and make sure that they were using the right tackle, were catching the right fish in the right part of the season, and also make sure they were not going to put themselves in a position to be eaten by a bear – because bears were also fishing on the river…

I took the job, I basically walked around talking to people all day and it was a very unique experience for me as a woman… oftentimes men don't necessarily respect what you have to say in the natural resources realm. So, I got to practice that confidence because I did know what I was talking about and I did have the authority to tell them what to do. I was able to practice that in a really unique, supported way because I had a partner on the river, as we had to go in twos. It could have been a woman, but it just happened to be a guy who let me take care of the issues. He didn't step in and try to be the hero for the little lady, he let me take care of hard conversations, which gave me the confidence to do that in my life and to shut people down when they were saying or doing things that were inappropriate. Something I would have felt uncomfortable doing in the past. It was a great experience. But it was just a summer job.

Oh my. What came after this summer job?
Back to Michigan for a full-time job working in the State of Michigan Wildlife Disease Lab. It was a coveted job that was working on any wildlife brought in from around the state that had died, for necropsy to see why. For two years I did this, wanting to get to the actual field throughout that time. But I was able to interview for a biologist position eventually. They gave the position to someone else and said I obviously had the book knowledge, but not real-life experience. I left to go get that field experience.

I decided to take a field job at a nonprofit nature preserve managing 800 acres and teaching undergraduate students about natural resources management techniques. Here I ran into a problem where I was told one thing about pay and benefits and after my year anniversary, those promises were not honored.

But then came the point when I start assessing. I thought to myself, I have done all the things I was supposed to, good grades, lots of research and other experiences (like becoming a type II wildland firefighter), I should’ve been able to have a good job, one that would afford me financial security, but that just wasn’t the case. And I kept running into the fact that with how things are in the natural resources field, it looked like I’d never have that, never have a chance to retire someday.

It was a wakeup call to realize I was going to have to do something on my own and not rely on someone else to provide me with that security.

So that is how you started your own business?
That is how it all began. I threw myself into trying to figure out how to do that. I did research on what I could do with the skills that I had. All of the positions that I'd been in before had some form of writing, often publishing scientific journal articles. Thus, I knew I had writing skills. I found a program teaching copywriting, just a different technique of writing than I’d done before.

I found out that I could support businesses that I really believed in personally. I felt like this was something that I could get behind, because there were so many more unique, local businesses (in a world becoming homogenized by big box stores) that I wanted to support. While still working at the nature preserve, I ripped through that training. I started to reach out to friends and family with small businesses and did pro bono projects for them. As I started to grow my portfolio, I pitched myself, gaining business within my community. Then referrals started coming in and today the majority of my work, after four years, is amazing referrals.

That is how I got you!
Yes! I’m so glad you got to me; I love our work together.

I started the business parallel with the nature resource position, but after a time I had to make a choice and my choice was to become my own boss. In the very beginning I barely made it all come together with my bills, but I never had to ask family for financial support.

OK, you started the business while in Michigan, and how did you get back to Alaska?
After a while I realized I could run the copywriting business from anywhere. In the meantime, I was offered a part-time position working back in the natural resources field. I was going to turn it down, but everyone thought I’d be crazy to give up the opportunity to work for 3-months raising baby caribou. I didn’t want it to hurt my business so we agreed I’d keep my mornings for my clients, but afternoons for the caribou calves, and that is how I ended up working in Alaska again.

I didn’t leave natural resources because I hated the field and leaving it had always been a bit sad. This was a beautiful way for me to marry those two interests together for that summer. By then I had some friends in Alaska too and I started to see how I might want to plant some roots, so I decided to stay for the winter. And that was two years ago.

And now you’re leaving…
Yes, to be honest winters here in Alaska are too dark for me. I can handle the cold and snow, but the darkness does a big number on me mentally. Where I live, around the darkest time (winter solstice) the sun comes up around 10:30am and that's not full sunlight, it's only just kind of dusky, and only lasts till 3:30pm. Short-short days in the winter. I see myself coming back here many times over the years. I just think that my heart is pulled elsewhere now.

Now tell me about your values, what are the most important pillars of this nomad girl’s life?
I believe in doing the scary thing. If your heart reaches out for something and you are worried about going for it, I think you should do everything in your power to try to do it. If that takes therapy to work through fears, if that takes keeping it a secret to not hear other’s dissenting opinions, if it even takes paying a courage coach to help you plan out all the micro-steps to make it happen – we only get one go at this life thing, and I don't want to have any regrets on not trying for something my heart sings about.

I also believe in kindness. I'm still learning to be as kind to myself as I am to others. I do feel great compassion for others, we all have our past traumas and we all are seeing life through the lens of seeking safety. It allows me to see why people make certain decisions and why they act in certain ways. I try really hard to be a soft place for them to be open and vulnerable. A place I would have flourished in as a child.

And health. Physical, mental, and spiritual health are big concepts in my life. At the end of the day all of my choices come back to supporting my health in these three areas. I have tried to simplify my material possessions to allow me to travel and have time for physical adventures (like hiking the highest volcano in Central America this past winter) and spending time in yoga classes wherever I can find them. I know that if I neglect any of these areas then the rest of my life suffers. And I'm continually trying to bring myself back to center in this fast-paced world that is telling us we need to work more, make more, and buy more. But long ago I realized I couldn't live that sort of life. While my life may not include the latest trends, it is rich in experience and memories, and those I can take with me anywhere.

Beautiful thinking! Now, as a practice with my Attagirls, I will ask you to share any life learnings you think would be helpful for anyone only dreaming about good stuff to happen to them, not yet daring to actually make steps towards those. What would you tell them?
I would suggest to try to step outside all of the societal expectations that have been laid out for them. And really get honest about what makes their heart happy and what they really want to do. It's not easy to then proceed to do that thing. But even if it bumps up against these societal expectations, it's worth it. Because at the end of the day, we only have one life and we have no idea how long it is and how long you can live it in a joyful way as injuries and illness can sneak up on anyone. Being delighted by the experiences that you're having, sharing those experiences with someone you love – that's the best life I can imagine. We have the opportunity to create that for ourselves, no matter what situation we're in. Even if it's the very smallest little time that we carve out for ourself for this. If you can just step outside of what would be expected of you, in your role in life, and do that thing with the pure joy of doing it, then you are going to be successful. That is a successful life to me.

Well Ricki, this was awesome. Thank you for sharing all these things with me, with us. You, just like the previous (and future) Attagirls, have clearly found your happiness, which I think is the ultimate reward to all those who have dared to take that big and freaky first step. I am truly grateful that I have bumped into you. And now you can start working on your own Attagirl-story so that I can post it on the website in time!
Haha, yeah, it is going to be fun to see myself in this form and work on my own piece. I am so glad for the opportunity Kami, and I hope that I can give some strength to those in similar shoes to where I was at in any part of my story. Because the power that comes from realizing that you are in charge, and can make your life whatever you desire, is something I wish for everyone to experience.

If you would like to find out more about Ricki, please click on the links below.

LinkedIn
Instagram
Website
Feral Girl Freedom
YouTube Channel
The Crane Wife - Keep You Safe
In Kinship Podcast