01 - Reka Turoczi
25 minutes reading
If you are a hobby runner in Hungary, you can’t not know who she is. Whichever race she runs, you’ll recognize her. Sea mist, metallic blue, kiwi green, magenta, bold orange, neon yellow – an easy-to-spot-from-a-distance vision, thanks to her unmatched sports gears. With fluffy earmuffs harmonizing with her clothes on cold days. With a huge smile on. With effortless gallops. I first laid eyes on her in person at the season-opening Balaton Super Marathon in 2012 and have been following her life story on social media ever since. She is a continuous inspiration.
Ethereal, graceful, beautiful, a dark mass of hair floating behind her. Tamas Naray’s model-discovery. Mom of three, with three degrees, triathlete. Coach, influencer, brand ambassador. Confident, determined, successful. She is Reka “iRUNmom” Turoczi, as we know her. A household name in Hungary, for one reason or another.
What we usually fail to consider when it comes to her, who has it all by the look, is how immense sacrifices and what great courage her kind of lifestyle needs. Being exposed to the public regardless of your inner feelings, while navigating motherhood and pursuing complex sports. Dreaming big and squaring up to make it come true. It needs an enormous dose of bravery. It requires consciousness, planning, persistence, diligence and discipline, without which, regardless of the raw talent you were born with, success will stay away.
That was the angle of my many conversations with Reka all through the month of January, the summary of which is shared here with you now. Created with love - read with delight.
Reka, have you ever thought of yourself as a brave woman? Do you think you are courageous?
It has happened, yes. I do not consider myself continuously brave, those thoughts usually come when I make a hard decision or when I think back of such decisions.
If you flash back on your life, what were the events in which you needed all your courage? When, like you have just said, you made a bold decision and even hesitated but persisted and finally achieved your desire?
My first brave act, as far as I can remember, came towards the end of my elementary school studies. My plan was to move to the capital. I had been dreaming about this for quite some time and I knew it would present multiple challenges. One in which life without my family would not be easy. Yet I was sticking to it. Finally, I was able to start my high school studies in a bilingual grammar school, Xantus, and studied every subject in German. The unknown, the newness made me uneasy in the beginning, but I was so proud.
Another decision, this time without pride, was letting my marriage go. I knew my choice would not be popular. I was fully aware that I would make loved ones sad beyond words but I also knew that the marriage was over. For me it was unacceptable to keep acting like it was not the case instead of facing the fact, getting my act together and owning up to my feelings. It was clear that life as I had known was over and the new life was not going to be easy in either financial, or logistical terms, not to mention the emotional damage. Yet I knew this was the right thing and the only thing for me to do. My self-talk in weak moments was that this way we all had the chance for fuller, more honest lives – and that is what happened. We both started with a clean slate and kept a healthy, good-spirited relationship and today we communicate regularly, of course, mainly because of the kids – and it’s all good.
A third one, my watershed decision, and I am happy that I had the strength to hold on to it, is related to sports. Looking back I am glad that I was strong enough to persist and apply any necessary pressure to the “opposition”. That I was able to make them accept that I needed this and sports were the thing I intended to invest time, energy and money into in the future. It changed everything in my life. It led me to become who I am today. Definitely my bravest, most impactful decision.
Needless to say, like everyone else, I had circumstances that I had no impact on, so I just had to overcome my fears, accept the situation, stand up and move on. Like a few of my break-ups – but the hardest of all was the passing of my Mom. I know that most of us will have to face this situation sooner or later. It came to me sooner and it was really hard, first of all the fact that she passed away, but also the way she passed. I am not sure if there will ever come a day when I can think of this without tears.
Speaking of tears, how often do they come?
When I am truly sad, it is hard for me to fight them. It is enough if someone shows kindness or listens to me with attention and my tears are already falling. In those moments I feel vulnerable, and kindness somehow moves me. I am an emotional woman and I never try to hide my unbridled happiness, nor my deep sorrow. In joy I smile wildly and laugh boisterously, and in my sadness I, well yeah, cry.
Reka in Action
You mentioned fear previously. You have any? What are they tied to? What is your way to overcome them?
Of course I have fears. As an athlete my biggest fear is injury. And the slow regeneration after an injury. This can mean a serious setback in any race preparation. A dread of mine, something I have burnt myself with already, is downhill cycling. Since my first bad fall in 2016 I have been overly cautious and I do not even care about others passing me downhill, I am saying to myself, it is not worth it, you just go, see you uphill, buddy. And I usually do pass them back.
Then, since my Mom’s death predisposition to cancer is something that gives me serious anxiety when I am thinking of it. My mind knows, and this is what I am trying to convince myself with in those moments, that I have done everything in my power to prevent it. However, sometimes that little devil of doubt just grabs space in my mind and then it is pretty hard to calm myself down. I need to control myself when it happens, and say my little mantras, and that helps. I like taking a dim-lit, hot bath, popping in my favorite compilation of slow melodies and trying to relax. By the way this is how I switch off and relax after a hard day, too.
I dared to say in the intro that you were confident. You do look confident from the outside, with everlasting smiles and heartfelt laughs on your social media – what about your inner fights and what do you usually fight yourself about?
I do consider myself a confident person naturally, I am aware of my values as well as my imperfections and I strive to manage them both. However, like everyone, at times I am insecure. Then I wonder whether I am too strong. Too independent. Too selfish. Too much of an exhibitionist. Too much. If I am compromising enough. I spend time analyzing the situation that has led me to those thoughts and try to focus on the takeaway, which I try to remember later. Sometimes I soothe myself with my favorite song, SIA’s Bird Set Free, and am just letting myself feel, live, which helps me process and carry on.
Negative commenters. They are always hounding the beautiful and/or successful. How hard do you find it to manage them, do they ever bring you down?
Yeah, they are there. I am lucky not to have many of them, but they are definitely there. I have no issue with criticism. I truly believe in the importance of constructive criticism. However, constructive criticism arrives mostly in a private way, avoiding publicity, and is usually presented in kind language. I take my time to think about it and I find it useful even if I do not agree. I give thoughts to the criticism arriving publicly and with hurtful words or intention, too. My approach is that there might be a learning even if disguised with ill-willed words, but to be honest, those opinions find me much harder. I try to respond to all of them, even the ones written in a humiliating way, my weapon is kindness. I have figured that kindness disarms hurters who lose interest in hurting after a time, so it is worth applying. That is something I learned pretty early, as a child, and I find still valid, it works without error.
How early? What was it you were bullied with as a child?
Look, my skin tone is a tad darker than the average, so I inevitably was called gypsy at school all the time. Of course, it felt bad back then. That is when I learned kindness was a great tool to manage those situations. Today I look at it through different eyes and, by the way, Szaffi has always been one of my favorite animations, so much so that I named my black cat Szaffi as an adult…
Are you a planner? Do you have any resolutions, goals set on New Year’s Eve?
Absolutely. Not necessarily on New Year’s Eve or any other special day, but I do have goals for a new year, shorter-longer distance ones. I believe that if we want to achieve anything, it is not reasonable to wait till Day X, it is best to begin it and start developing the supporting mindset right away. At least that is how it works for me; it is a question of attitude.
What are the plans that you want to fulfil or start fulfilling in 2024?
I am starting my preparation for the 2025 IronMan World Championship. I would love to get to Kona in 2027 the latest, the decision is injury dependent. Another goal for the year is to build my Pilates clientele. Pilates is the latest one in my line of sports, and I think it can support the strength of any endurance athlete most efficiently. That is what I wish to promote, and it is a crucial goal of mine for the year. Finally, another plan for 2024 of equal priority: improving my spiritual-mental strength. Last year was a testing one from every angle and I feel I lost focus a little bit. This year I’m getting back my mojo and will fortify it, I reckon that my family, my wider environment, my coworkers, my coachees as well as my athletic results will profit from that equally.
Reka in Action
How do you plan to make the first steps towards those goals?
Regarding the IronMan WC, training needs to start in a gradual, systematic way, with constant monitoring of my performance. I have not recovered from my last injury completely, so progress needs to be achieved in a smart way. I will start the work with my good old coach again, and we will also decide together which the best Kona-qualification race for me would be for the beginning of 2025. Multiple factors will be considered here, the final choice will be preceded by serious research work. We will need to find the very IM race that ensures me the best chance to qualify for Kona. I will return to speedwork, too, which mostly means course work; I will train with the Team of Experience Couriers (Elmenyfutarok) of District 3 in Budapest. I used to love training with those guys, and I am certain that it won’t be any different now.
My first steps towards my Pilates plans will be holding trainings for beginners while finishing my third module of my Pilates coach course. Both are anticipated around the end of summer, and then, in Q4, I would like to start holding my training tailored uniquely for athletes and working with a strong clientele.
My self-boost/self-development goal feels to be a very exciting one, I expect a lot from it. Up till now it was always the improvement of my body that was in my focus but it is clear now that I need to deal with my soul, too. I am not ashamed to admit; I think most people arrive at the point where they realize it – well, it came in my life, too. Right now I feel I could use help and I will work with a life coach on a rock solid, conscious, fulfilled Reka.
How hard is it for you to step out of your comfort zone in favor of achieving a goal? Which was your most difficult situation when you had to do so success?
We need to leave our comfort zones time to time, true, but the way I see it is that when you do that, you will get stronger in the soul. My latest occasion was not too long ago, circumstances made me make the wise decision to go back to my old, liquidation-related job after 13 years of making my livelihood mostly from my sporting activity. I consider this change a temporary one and I am aware my situation is privileged to have a workplace I was able to go back. I still see my future in sport, nonetheless, and this is the vision that gives me the power to cope with this temporary discomfort easier. My motto is, everything is a three-day wonder – this feeling will not last long, either. In the meantime, I will give my best at my workplace as well as in my sports. Luckily this kind of emergency is not frequent in my life but when it comes, I quickly realize the importance of moving on instead of extended self-pitying (which, of course, will not stay away. I can feel very-very sorry for myself, but as is not really constructive, it won’t last long).
Sacrifices were mentioned in the intro. Tell me what sacrifices your lifestyle requires.
Well, this is a painful subject. I will not talk in length about the quality time spent with my children that suffers from the time invested into my sporting activities. I am striving to consciously shape my athletic life in a way that helps them feel the least of my absence. To achieve that, the kind of flexibility that characterizes my life is a must. On many occasions we do sports together, too, which qualifies as quality time itself.
What is almost always a victim of my lifestyle is the relationship line of my life. Unfortunately, I have to admit, this has a major role in the ending of most of my relationships. Riding the bike for 1-3 hours a day plus swimming and/or running another 1-2 is one thing. Add regeneration activities, manual therapy, massage, sauna, such and such treatment that are an organic part of an athlete’s life, all those take additional time. To put it short, sadly, my relationships often got to the point where my lifestyle became a source of conflicts.
Small-scale sacrifices like cancelling a fun program, juggling with scheduled dates to squeeze in a much-needed workout or some kind of therapy instead are not even worth mentioning. Those are everyday little things that I have learned to live with; fully natural by now. Prioritization is highly important in my life.
Reka in Action
Do you procrastinate?
Heck yeah. Oh boy. I’m going to be brutally honest here, I am not a domestic goddess. I am not too big in housework. If there is anything I procrastinate, deep cleaning and serious cooking are those things. Girl, I hate both of them. It does not mean I will not do them when it is needed, it just means that all of a sudden everything turns out to be much more important. Shame or not, when I have the chance, I seek help in those activities.
Let’s talk about luck. What are your thoughts? Do you believe in it? Do you think it finds you when you need it badly?
My experience is that life (providence, mind’s creative power, whatever we believe in) does help solving situations.
Speaking of luck: is there any symbolism to the number 3? When I was wording the introduction, I couldn’t not notice the 3 kids – 3 degrees – 3athlon trio.
Haha, I do prefer odd numbers but my favorite one is 9, not 3!
OK, then back to reality now. Are you able to accept that you are good at something? To pat yourself on the back and take your success as the result of you doing great and not as others’ achievement?
Today I am able to recognize and believe that something is my success. I am aware I am not super-talented at anything but I also know I am above-average diligent. I put a lot of work in anything I set my mind to. When I succeed, I am proud, but for too long, I will move on after a brief self-celebration. I am pretty much aware, too, of my motherly values added to my children’s successes.
If an outcome is not as it was expected, do you tend to beat yourself up over it? Do you feel patting back and being hard on self are in a healthy ratio in your life?
Normally I find self-praise more difficult than self-criticism, but my three-day wonder motto stands solidly here, too. Self-blaming lasts like twice as long as my self-satisfaction, though, seasoned with a little self-pitying, too, but in general I am able to process and leave behind both feelings rather fast. I try to learn from my mistakes, draw the proper consequences and remember those next time.
Do you tend to let things that don’t come out right after multiple attempts go, or do you keep trying till they finally happen?
I am an ever tryer, a not giver upper. However, there are situations that simply just will not work. When I have that realization, and I am positive that I have run out of options, I conclude it is healthy to move on and that is exactly what I do. Even so, I am open for another try at some later point in time, but I won’t fall on my sword if I have to let something go for good after trying a thousand times.
In the 1970’s Mr. Csikszentmihalyi discovered the theory of flow for us, a term used by the common language as the hallmark of fulfillment, or even happiness, but definitely of performance ever since. What brings flow to you, what are the activities that you can become lost in, live your true self in?
Now that is a question the answer to which I do not have to think too much about. Swimming and running are definitely flow experiences for me. I am able to do them literally for hours, fully immersing in them, becoming lost in free movement, giving myself over to my thoughts and emotions. When I am swimming or running, I am falling into a separate world, my own little world, where I get healed, fortified, convinced and repaired. I can become the same lost in listening to classical music or looking at paintings. I love visual art, since high school, where I learned a lot about painters, the circumstances impacting them, their love lives, their ars poetica; of art eras and techniques. When I immerse myself in a painting, I remember all the information I have and incorporate those into the comprehension of the emotions expressed on the canvas. This can truly enchant me and, in all honesty, I have not found a partner yet for sharing my enthusiasm of this kind and talking about it in depth with. Maybe it is OK, though, as this is part of that little private world of mine…
Tell me, why is it so important for you to be a coach? You could concentrate solely on your races, your results, your preparation, or your self-development, not to mention your roles as a mother or an employee. Why did you choose to help people after all?
With all sincerity to get certified as a sports coach was the result of my desire to develop myself. I simply wanted to know and understand the activity I had pursued on a daily basis for long years by then more. The brand Polar was first to approach me with an offer to hold one course training every two weeks and, if I want to be fully honest, during those trainings I felt no right to teach anyone anything. I loved it very much, though; that what I taught my runners was working and I liked to have a good impact on people’s lives. That is what made me decide eventually to begin my studies. I wanted to be able to give them more; I wanted to become more authentic, firstly in my own eyes. Today my drive is to distract people from work for a couple hours; from the crazy race for money, the problems of today’s modern world, and to introduce them to the joy of health preservation and the ability to move. I wish to make them able to turn that joy into a key part of their lives. The world today needs happy people and for that making money is not enough. There is nothing without the health of body and mind.
Reka Brand Ambassador
Reka, do you have any advice for those who see it impossible to incorporate what they love into their everyday lives the way you do? Who think it is impossible to make a change about their ways: that they are so busy that there is no chance to find time for themselves?
There were three things that helped me and the way I see these are the three things that provide room for improvement for most of us. My experience says these are the areas where scheduling of one’s life goes south significantly. The first one is the “outsourcing” of tasks and asking for help. As I see, many turn it into a question of ego whereas asking your family or close friends for help should not be driven by pride, that is what I think. A family that keeps together will help out the member in need, and should it be regular help, by setting certain rules a long-term collaboration can be established. If someone is not gifted with a strong family background like what I have, I am sure will have a few trusted friends that can jump in sometimes. And if there is really no help like that, the worst-case scenario is to hire a babysitter or a cleaning aid, whatever assistance is needed for. I tend to utilize all three options and I will not take it as a personal offence if someone says ‘no’. I accept it and shape my plans accordingly. I sincerely believe where there is a will, there is a way. This is one of those things, too, with a way if there is true will.
And that brings along the second, well, showstopper, as I consider it myself, known to many. Flexibility. Or rather the lack of that. What works for me is adapting to the situations. Even though I love running in the a.m., and if I could, I would never have my runs any other time, that is the least likely. Instead, I squeeze my workouts in when my kids are having their own training. Or whenever I appear to have a little time. Lunchbreak, for example (and so my running gear is almost always at hand). From this viewpoint I am an absolute opportunist – but this is the way I have no workouts missing. Obviously, my results are not always the ones that I need but at least the movement happens which is essential. This is my choice over pushing my phone buttons for the entire 50 minutes while my children are having their workout. It is not good or bad, it is just my path and this kind of flexibility was and is of high importance in me having got where I am today. Circumstances must be harnessed for our needs; we need to be able to notice opportunities and grab them – otherwise life really might seem to be impossible to change.
The third problem which I think has an important impact is the rejection to organize. Often times it might seem so difficult to plan the kids’ weeks for the nanny that many decide in the end, darn it, it is not worth all that work for just planning, and finally they choose to give up on their own plans and stay. However, thinking it over in advance what should be how is really useful even if we are not seeking help. I notoriously summarize my children’s daily schedules in a spreadsheet so everyone will know exactly what will happen and how during the week, kids as well as nannies. This way questions and glitches can be prevented, thus time can be saved. Of course, it is not simple to gather thoughts thoroughly like that but it won’t take more than an hour per week. It is highly worthwhile for me because it gives me a peace of mind as well as an opportunity to focus on my athletic activities.
The short version: relax a little, dare to become a little more vulnerable. Gather your courage to reach out for help and expose yourself to being turned down. You will not be any less good of a mother or partner; as a mother or a partner we, too, are entitled to the right to focus a little on ourselves on a weekly basis. Notice the opportunities and grab them, and plan in advance - help so that you can be helped. It is so worthwhile. So worthwhile for a mentally and physically healthy, fulfilled life. Certainly worthwhile to me.
Well, I think this is pretty much it for now, Reka, it was fun. Thank you for your time for making this interview happen, it is highly appreciated. Good luck with your goals and, please, keep us in the loop about your progress on Instagram.
It was my pleasure, Kami, thank you.
If you want to find out more about Reka, please click on the links below.
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